I lay on the lawn looking up at the night sky.
A star twinkled more than the others. I winked at it. The star began doing loops.
I applauded. The star shot towards me through space until it was 100 feet above me.
I covered my face and yelled, “Aaaaaagh!”
The star said, “Oh, my God, no! I’m not going to crash into you!”
I uncovered my face. I said, “That was intense.”
The star said, “Sorry.”
I said, “That’s okay.”
When I was five, I got lost in the Grand Canyon.
I was there with my family for summer vacation. We slept in a tent. I slept walked one night and when I woke up, I was by myself deep in the canyon. I was scared. I didn’t know my way back.
I started to cry. I heard, “Hey, what’s wrong?” I looked down and saw an armadillo looking up at me.
I said, “I’m lost.”
The armadillo said, “Are you hungry?”
I said, “Yes, how did you know?”
The armadillo said, “You look hungry.”
The armadillo lead me to a brazen-berry bush. I ate handfuls. They were better than candy.
The armadillo said, “Would you like to meet my family?”
I said, “Yes, that would be nice.”
The armadillo said, “Oh, by the way, I’m Rrrrrrrrrrd.”
I said, “I’m Brooks.”
The armadillo brought me to a cave. Inside were 7 other armadillos. They introduced themselves: Blinkie, Poop-a-doo, Omba-bomba, Wich-a-woo, Slammer, Pillpot, and Ricocheter.
They taught me how to curl up and roll around like a crazy ball.
I was woken by a muffled rubbing sound coming from my window. I looked up from my bed to see my cloud friend, Wowdy just outside. I opened the window.
I said, “Good morning, Wowdy.”
Wowdy the cloud said, “Good morning, Brooks. Would you like to go for a ride?”
I said, “Yes!” I climbed out the window onto Wowdy, who took off into the sky.
Wowdy flew over Lake Rickety Sticks, and Old Mountain Bowser, and the Mighty Mini Woods of Besty Pants, while I “Ooohed” and “Awwed.”
Wowdy the cloud said, “What do you wanna do now?”
I said, “I’m awfully hungry for breakfast.”
Wowdy the cloud said, “No worries,” and flew up to a Pelican whose name turned out to be Rigsby. After a brief discussion, Rigsby laid an egg into my palm. Then Wowdy flew near the Sun. I held up the egg which quickly hard-boiled. It was delicious!
I sat in a puddle. The water soaked up into my pants.
I got up and walked until I came to a dusty hole. I sat down in the hole. The water came out of my pants and filled the hole.
The water said, “Thanks.”
I dug a hole in my backyard. I sat down in the hole. I fell asleep.
I woke up and it was night. A racoon, badger, ferret, koala, fox, a family of mice, a possum, garden snake, and six squirrels were cuddled up against me, sleeping and snoring. I didn’t want to wake them, so I went back to sleep.
When I woke in the morning, all the critters were gone. I got out of the hole and put the dirt back in.
I got a job sweeping the floor of the marshmallow factory. Sometimes pieces of marshmallow fall off the conveyor belts and I’m supposed to sweep them up and throw them out.
But I’ve been basically picking up the marshmallows off the floor and eating them. Today my supervisor caught me popping two in my mouth.
I said, “Am I fired?”
She said, “No.”