Non-deleterious stories

I collect penguins. I go down to Antarctica three times a year and find more penguins. I bring them back and they live in my backyard. I must have over 150 back there now. I’m not good with exact numbers.

When I get stressed out, I sit in a chair in the backyard while the penguins walk around me and I feel better. This is the case even though they are filthy and noisy creatures.

They are not affectionate. They hate to be pet. They walk a wide berth around me, rather than come near me. Yet, I can’t get enough of them.

I’m friends with a tree named, Puth. Puth lives in a park near my home.

I go to the park and I sit at the base of Puth and we talk. I talk about things like how I only like to wear t-shirts rather than any other kind of shirt. And I bring recent t-shirts with me and I try them on and show them to Puth. Puth tells me which ones look good on me.

Puth tells me about things it sees at night when the park is closed. For instance, Puth told me about a pack of coyotes that formed a pyramid with their bodies. I said I wish I could have seen that. Puth said I would have liked it.

I like to sit in a chair in my room and look out the window. There is nothing else in the room. I never care much to look at things indoors. I prefer the outdoors. But I don’t like to spend too much time outside, except for my trips to Antarctica or the park, because there are more chances to be killed outside than in.

I like to look at the sun cascading over different things, like cars, or the sidewalk. I really like to look up at planes in the sky. I’m a big fan of watching grass, especially if there’s a little wind to blow the blades.