Space truckin’

While flying my twin engine airplane, I zoned out and didn’t look where I was going. When I came too I realized I’d just popped out of the atmosphere. Above me was space. Below was the bright blue Earth. Luckily I’m good at holding my breath. When I was a kid I used to stay underwater in the community pool for up to thirty minutes. I liked the deep quiet, plus it allowed me to imagine I was amphibian and wouldn’t have to go to school anymore.

I flew around for a while in space and soon encountered a pack of space walruses. They are very much like sea walruses but are blue, have yellow spots, and have tusks three times the normal size. The space walruses are able to live in space because they now and then dip their snouts into the atmosphere for an oxygen snort and come back to space and cavort.

A shooting star happened by and I tossed out a rope with a hook that latched onto the star and went for a wild ride. I was pulled so fast that I thought my plane would shred to pieces, which is what happened. I desperately hung on to the rope. The nice thing is the shooting star traveled around the Earth in about a minute and I got to see a lot of my favorite countries like Australia, Uruguay, and Burkina Faso.

But soon the shooting star fizzled out and I was left in space hanging onto a big rock. On a whim I took out the pen I always keep in my pocket with a pad of paper in case I get any good ideas, and I used the pen to chisel my way into the big rock. The inside was hallow and I curled up and relaxed. I like relaxing. I don’t know why.

I sensed that I’d soon be in need of oxygen. I didn’t have a plan. So I sat and waited for the next thing to happen. Soon I heard a wobbling sound. I stuck my head out of the big rock and saw a space bubble floating by. Basically they are oxygen farts from the atmosphere that bubble up into space. I leapt off the big rock, landed on the space bubble, and space paddled to the atmosphere.

I popped back into the Earth’s air and descended rapidly. The force of the compressed air around me disintegrated my clothing and now I was falling naked. Although my situation was desperate, swiftly moving through the air felt tingly on my skin. Luckily I landed with a nice dive into the Indian Ocean. I could tell which ocean because I saw those letters on the water just before I splashed down.

I went deep into the water and touched the sandy bottom. I really like sand. There’s something impossibly great about rocks that are so tiny, their collective presence is soft.