The frustration of time-hiccuping

I bought my time-travel machine from Costco five years ago. It was a really good price, and at the time it was pretty good quality. But over time I’ve discovered it has some bugs.

For instance, yesterday I was hoping to visit Mary Anning, the noted fossil collector, in October 1833, in a field outside Dorset, England, when she barely missed being killed by a landslide that took the life of her dog, Tray. I was hoping to save the dog. When you do something kindly to a dog, they’ll love you forever, and I need all the love I can get.

I showed up for a few seconds, Mary and Tray looked up at me from fossiling, I started to yell, “Back up”, but I time-hiccuped to 1066 London, and the Coronation of William the Conqueror. I really don’t like things ceremonial. I’m anti-fancy. I prefer things dirty, messy, and if I’m lucky, abominable.

I did attend the Coronation dinner though because I knew they’d be serving mutton. There were platters and platters of mutton. I love mutton. I like it diced, roasted, boiled, fried, baked, barbecued, steamed, braised, stewed, sautéed, stir-fried, grilled, and pickled. I ate three plates of mutton, waited an hour, and then had another plate.