I’m not good with celebrities, so I tried to introduce myself, but I mumbled something unintelligible.
Shiva said, “What? I can’t understand you.”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.
Shiva said, “You have nice teeth.”
I got all excited and somehow said, “Really?”
I had lunch with the ghost of Walt Disney. In a desperate effort to relate to him, I said that I like to be creative too. I told him about one of my recent Better Late than Dead blog posts.
The ghost of Walt said, “Yes, but those highfalutin days are behind me. Now I roam the Earth as a phantom, beholding the Creator’s unending and multifarious manifestations.”
I gave up and sulked head first on the table.
The ghost of Walt said, “Behold, despair!”
God and I took our monthly walk through the Holland Tunnel in NYC. We had to speak loudly due to the traffic noises. People like to honk to get God’s attention.
I asked God if we could move our walks to a less noisy location in the future because being quieter is more spiritual.
Just then a truck blared it’s horn as the driver waved frantically at God and howled out the window like a mad wolf.
God said, “That, my friend, is spiritual.”
I found a pair of false teeth on the ground. I looked around to see if anyone was looking for them.
That’s when I saw the owl up in the tree looking back at me. The owl had no expression on its face.
I picked up the set of teeth and tossed them up in the air. The owl alit from the tree, flew towards the teeth, and opened its mouth, catching the teeth. The owl flew back to the tree.
The owl looked at me and smiled.
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