It’s About Time

While feeding peanuts to the squirrels in the backyard, I heard the pop, snap, and crackle of time travel occurring. I dropped the bag of nuts, closed my eyes, and fell back into the time-tube tunnels.

I reappeared in a small twin-engine plane. The pilot was struggling to fly the plane in the midst of a winter storm. His passenger was clinging to his seat.

The passenger looked over at me. He said, “Are you an angel?”

I said, “No. But thanks for the compliment.”

I recognized the passenger as the famous comedian Will Rogers.

Will Rogers said, “I’m curious how you found you way on board?”

I said, “I’m from the future. Listen, I read your biography. I think this is the flight that you crash and die in.”

Will Rogers looked distraught. He paused, then smiled and said, “I guess no one likes to get the bill at the end of a bacchanal.”

The pilot shouted, “We’re gonna crash!”

Will Rogers and I grabbed each other. It’s what guys do when they know they’re going to die because it’s the safest way for them to hug.

Suddenly I was in the quiet warmth of my backyard. I was still holding on to Will Rogers.

One of the squirrels was eating from the bag of nuts. The squirrel looked at us and said, “Get a room.”