We’re All the Same

I was walking down an alleyway at Hofstra University. I saw President Obama chain smoking next to a dumpster. Mitt Romney came out into the alley and proceeded to eat a whole bag of cookies. 

I asked if they were nervous about the debate. They said no, they’d been nervous since they were kids. 

I said me too. I compulsively started cracking my knuckles like a crazy man, and counted up to ten repeatedly. Mitt put the cookie bag over his head and began sniffing for crumbs. Obama lit and smoked ten cigarettes at one time.