It’s Hard to Get What You Want

Faeries lived in the garden in my backyard.

They looked like tiny humans, but with wings.

At first I thought they were cute. But then they wanted to talk with me.

The thing is, when I’m spending time in my garden, I enjoy the peacefulness of being away from people. Sure, the faeries were cute and rare. And it kind of felt nice when they waved their wands and sprayed shiny gold dust on me.

But faeries jabber. They talked in olde English and had a way of carrying on that felt intrusive. I think they might have even been drunk.

So I bought some pesticide and paid my neighbor’s kid to take care of the fairies.

The faeries left the garden and moved into my home. They didn’t know I paid for the backfired garden eviction. I didn’t tell them either. Not because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. But they turned my neighbor’s kid into a two-horned Bicorne.