Have You Considered the Alternative?

I hung out with the Easter Bunny. The Easter Bunny was edgy. I asked what was up. The Easter Bunny told me it was hard to only have Easter to focus on. She needed a larger and more time consuming purpose.

I suggested perhaps going back to the simplicity of being a regular bunny. Then her days are mostly spent eating grass and people’s gardens.

The Easter Bunny was adamant about having something important to do. I suggested the Easter Bunny was obsessed with self-image. It didn’t seem to me that being the Easter Bunny was actually giving her personal satisfaction and joy.

The Easter Bunny broke down in tears and told me she hated eggs, and the infuriating process of dyeing and then hiding them. She disliked her image being formed into chocolate effigies. She confessed she wasn’t even Catholic.

The Easter Bunny set fire to her egg carrying basket. She tore up her contract with Hershey’s. She said from now on she would like to be called Prudence the Rabbit.