First Tan

I was laying out in my back yard, getting a tan next to the ghost of George Washington. It’s so weird seeing a former founding father president in his bathing suit. It almost looked like his body was photo-shopped to his head.

George Washington said that he never had a tan before. He asked how long it would take. I said judging by the extreme paleness of his body, he would look like a tomato in a few minutes. He said, “Most dandy!”

My next door neighbor joined us. She’s pretty cute. George Washington started hitting on her. She ignored him. I thought if she knew who he actually was, she might be interested. I felt that way last week when the ghost of Susan B. Anthony made a pass at me.