A Birthday Surprise

This morning was my girlfriend’s birthday. She’s been going on and on for weeks about wanting a rhino. She’d show me photos of rhinos and say, “Aren’t they the cutest things?” Then she tore up all the tiles in her basement and replaced them with sod.

So this morning I led her down to her basement and showed her Rosie, her new rhino. Rosie was eating the newly fresh grass and looked up at us. My girlfriend jumped up and down in joy. She kept saying, “How did you know, how did you know?”

Rosie must have been startled by my girlfriend’s vitality and charged us. We ran away pretty fast. Rosie just missed us and smashed into the wall. Luckily I had covered all the walls with mattresses.

We got to the stairs and I closed the iron gate behind us. Rosie charged and crashed into the gate. It dented a little, but held up. I bought the gate at Home Depot. The salesperson said it would be strong enough for a rhino charge.

My girlfriend reached through the gate and patted the rhino’s horn. I was scared for her. But then the rhino calmed down and started to purr. I thought cats were the only animals who did that.