This morning the ghost of Clarence Darrow joined me for breakfast. Mr. Darrow was the big deal lawyer who in the 1920’s successfully defended John T. Scopes who was arrested for teaching evolution in schools.
Mr. Darrow said, “Mankind will always be resistant to apes being their precursors.”
I said, “Have you ever seen ‘Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp’?”
Mr. Darrow said, “No, what is it?”
I said, “Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp was a TV show that I watched as a kid in the early 1970’s.”
Mr. Darrow said, “What’s TV?”
I said, “TV is a technology that was created in 1948 that allowed movie like images to appear on small screens in people’s homes. But unlike the cinema, everything on the TV was true. Lancelot Link was a TV program that starred actual chimpanzees. Lancelot was a secret agent who worked for the Agency to Prevent Evil (APE). Their nemesis was an evil organization called the Criminal Headquarters for Underworld Master Plan (CHUMP). This show proved that apes were not precursors to humans but were equals with genetic malfunctions that caused them to have excessively hairy bodies. As a result, courts in the late 1970’s ordered the release of all apes from zoo and science lab jails. And schools were ordered to stop teaching evolution.”
Mr. Darrow was in tears. He said, “How could I have been so wrong?”
I said, “Don’t worry about it. I used to think the ghosts were just in stories.”
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