In Season

I saw the snow on the ground. I went outside to the snow and said, “Um, excuse me, are you lost?”

The snow took out a sheet of paper with map quest directions, handed it me and said, “Nope, I’m supposed to be in Evanston, Saturday morning, 6:30 am.”

I said, “Well, who told you to be here?”

The snow said, “I don’t know know their name. They gave me this last night and said, “Be there!””

I said, “If I asked you to leave, would you go?”

The snow said, “It’s not that easy. There’s paper work. Then there’s the wait time. It make take a few weeks.”

I got a gas can and a hose from my car’s trunk. I siphoned gas from my car’s gas tank. I poured the gas on the snow on my lawn. I took out my lighter and I lit the gas and within a minute the snow was gone.

I went back inside and sat down and looked out my window at my charred front yard. I thought, “I love the first day of Spring!”