You Never Know Who’s Going to Show Up

Last night I went to a local open mic to tell my stories. What a night! The ghost of musician Buddy Holly showed up and signed up to perform. Everyone was so excited. It was going to be his first performance since he died in 1959. I was thrilled. One of my favorite songs is, That’ll Be The Day.” Buddy Holly got up on stage and people got out their cell phones to take pictures.

The thing is, there’s something about dead people on stage. It turns out they forgot the words to their songs. They also keep falling over. We knew he was dead so we overlooked an understandable handicap. But then his left arm fell off. I jumped up on stage and tried putting his arm back on. I think it was from my years of playing with G.I. Joes and snapping their arms back on. But his arm wouldn’t stay. It was awkward. I ended up setting it down next to him on a chair. And then there was the smell…

It turns out his guitar was dead too. I mean, I guess that makes sense. Why wouldn’t he have a dead guitar? The wood was rotten which made it out of tune.

I think a lot of us felt badly for him. But there was nothing we could do. It was too hard to watch so we went outside to smoke. I don’t smoke. But I was feeling so out of sorts from it all that I smoked a pack and a half of camels.