Standing Up

Last night when I was sleeping, I was woken up by the sound of termites. They were eating the bed posts.

I said, “Excuse me, what’s going on?”

The termites felt badly. One of them said, “Oh, we’re so sorry. We didn’t mean to wake you up. We were trying to keep it down. We’ll chew more softly. Sorry. Go back to sleep.”

I said, “Well, I like my bed. Can you eat something else? What if I got you a log from the fireplace?”

The termite spokesman said, “That’s very kind of you. But we really like the taste of your bedpost.”

I laid in bed and felt frustrated. Finally I got up and went online. I Googled assertiveness. I found a blog by aggressive confidentician Bick McPierson. It’s called, “Get Out of My Way, I’m Coming Through”. He wrote in that day’s blog, “Everyone is wrong, and you are right. People forgot and it’s your job to help them remember. Today I realized that stop lights are wrong. I ran through every red light to show them that I am right. There was resistance. I expected that. My car took some hits. But my confidence is unscathed.”

I felt full of self-assurance. I stood up and walked into my bedroom with might. I said to the termite’s, “This is my bed, now get out of here!” I pounded on the frame with my fist. The bed collapsed and broke into pieces. I think the termites had hallowed out the wood’s stability. One of the termite’s looked up and thanked me for creating bite size pieces.

I said, “You’re welcome”, and I went and slept on the couch.