Alligned with Greatness

One of my relatives was the inventor of the word “the”. Her name was Goode Penthuen. I’m told she had an amazing intellect. I heard that she felt the limitation of language made the description of things too brutal. When someone would say, “Go to well”, she would shudder.

She spent years trying to come up with a sound that would bring eloquence into everyday life. Her early efforts were not fruitful. She tried “zic”, “ferd”, and “glueck”. Eventually she came up with “tha”. The Chichester Village Pern described the invention thus, “G. Penthuen hath henceforth procured “tha” and all be well.”

Unfortunately the village felt it was inappropriate for a woman to have an intellect and she was declared to be a witch and was subsequently burnt at the stake.