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3 for the price of 1

3 for the price of 1

I like to say the word, “The.” Sometimes I’ll make up sentences when I’m by myself of just, “The.” “The the the the the the the. The the the the, the the the. (The.)” I have an ambition to write a book, only using, “The.” I haven’t done it because I think it would be hard to find a publisher. The thing is, I’d love that book and would read it often. It may happen.

…..

Last night I woke up with a desire to go outside. I got out of bed and put on my bathrobe. I went outside. It was dark. The sky was cloudy and I couldn’t see the moon or stars. I got sleepy. I lay down on the grass. I turned on my side. I fell asleep.

When I woke up I was nestled between a sleeping cow and horse who were also laying on the grass. The air was cold, but their bodies warm. When they breathed in, their bodies expanded against mine.

…..

I went to the Ocean. I stood on the outskirts, looking out at the vast expanse of water. The Ocean said, “Are you coming in or not?” I said I didn’t bring a bathing suit. The Ocean said, “Strip down and come on in. I don’t mind.” I looked around. There were some people way down the beach. I figured I could get naked and they wouldn’t see me. I took off my clothes and walked in to the Ocean.

The Ocean said, “I’m so glad you’ve joined me.” I said I was too. I walked until my toes couldn’t touch the bottom. I tread water. The Ocean said, “Lay on your back. I’ll float you.” I lay on my back and it was like I was laying on an air mattress on the water. I didn’t have to do anything to stay afloat.

The Ocean said, “Would you hum me a song?” I said I would. I made up a song. I like humming because I don’t have to come up with words. The Ocean said, “I like your song.” I said thanks.

I looked back towards the beach, but I couldn’t see it anymore. I’d drifted a ways away. I panicked and stopped floating. I went back to treading water and I got a cramp. I had difficulty staying above the water. The Ocean said, “Lay on your back again, and I’ll float you.” I said I was scared because I was far from the shore. The Ocean said, “If you lay back, I’ll carrying you back to the shore.” I had to trust the Ocean because otherwise I probably would have drowned.

I lay on my back again and the Ocean supported me. I caught my breath and relaxed. I was moving towards what I hoped was the shore. The Ocean said, “Would you sing me a song with words this time?” I said I would try.

I sang a song about a duck named Seymour. Seymour was scared of water. He stayed on the ground rather then venture into the lake. One day it rained so much that the ground flooded. Seymour had no choice but to be in water. He was scared. But then the fear passed.

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Odds and Ends

Odds and Ends

The glass of water said, “Hey, Brooks?”

I said, “Yes, glass of water?”

The glass of water said, “Are you gonna drink me or what?”

I said, “I like having you around. You’re my personal lake.”

…..

I was out for a walk when I suddenly began to lift in the air. I went higher and higher. Eventually I hit my head on the top of the atmosphere. It didn’t hurt like if you hit your head on the ceiling of a room. I softly bounced off and hung in the air. I shifted my feet above me and began to walk upside down on the top of the atmosphere. I walked for a awhile.

A seagull began to fly along with me. The sea gull said, “Where are you going?” I said, “I’m just out for a walk. Where are you headed?” The seagull said, “I’m just following you.”

…..

The ghost of John Steinbeck came by. He said, “What are you up to?”

I said I was polishing the silver.

He said, “Are you enjoying yourself?”

I said I wasn’t. The polish smelled. And my hands were getting tired.

The ghost of Steinbeck said, “Why do you do it then?”

I said I’m calmed by shiny things.

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What I had to do to be heard

What I had to do to be heard

I looked over the edge of the cliff.

The ground below yelled up, “Are you gonna jump?!”

I shook my head no. The ground below said, “What? I can’t hear you!”

I shook it again. The ground below said, “I still can’t hear you!”

I said, “No!”

The ground below said, “What?!”

I climbed down the edge of the cliff. It took me four and a half hours.

When I reached the ground below, I said, “I said, no.”

The ground said, “Oh. Okay.”

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Regarding the bird

Regarding the bird

The bird landed on my head. I said hi to the bird, who ignored me. I got irritated and tried to swat the bird off, but it managed to hold onto my head. The bird flapped its wings. I was lifted off the ground. The bird flew high in the sky. I looked down, amazed at the view of the countryside below.

But then the bird released my head and I began to fall. The ground got closer and closer. I landed in a haystack. It hurt. I had to lay there for a while before I could think of getting up.

I got up slowly. The bird landed and latched onto my head again. I managed to run backwards. I knew birds can’t fly if they are moving backwards. The bird asked me to stop. I ended up running into a tree. The bird fell off my head. We both lay on the ground in a daze.

I asked the bird if it was okay. The bird said its neck hurt. I apologized. The bird said it was sorry for dropping me from the sky.

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sucked

sucked

I was walking through the woods when I came upon a pond. The pond was a whirlpool. I had some free time, so I jumped in. I was spun around and sucked down. I came out and landed in a seat in a movie theater that was showing the movie, Jaws. I was drenched and began to shiver. At the same time, I love the movie, Jaws.

I was shaking from the air conditioning so much that my seat busted. The usher shone a flashlight on me. I covered my eyes because the light was bright. The usher helped me up. He apologized for the broken seat. I didn’t tell him I was the cause. He found me another seat. I shivered in that seat too, but I guess it was better constructed because it held up until the end of the movie.

When the film was over, I got up and went outside. I was still wet and the sun warmed me.