The Covenant

I went to see Alien: Covenant with Jesus. Jesus got so scared during one scene that he grabbed my arm and I dropped the popcorn bucket and the popcorn spilled all over the floor.

I asked Jesus if he would buy a new bucket of popcorn. Jesus lost it and said that I should buy it because it was my fault for not holding on tighter to the bucket. I said that didn’t feel fair. Jesus said something about my not wanting to see him go “Money Lenders” on me. I left to get another bucket.

When I got to the concession stand, I ran into Buddha. He started laughing as he told me that he was getting a bucket of popcorn because he clumsily grabbed his friend’s arm during a scary scene in Alien, causing his friend to spill the popcorn. I asked if I could sit with Buddha for the rest of the movie. He said yes and we went back in and sat down.

A few moments later Jesus stood up, trying to seeing in the dark, whisper yelling, “Brooks?! Brooks?! Where are you?!!! I’m hungry!!!”

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