Time travailing

I was giving my dog Rexy a tick bath in the backyard when I heard the snap, pop, and crackle of imminent time travel. The backyard disappeared and Rexy and I were soon falling through time. I actually noticed a few ticks in soap bubbles falling in the air above Rexy.

Rexy and I landed in the oval office of the White House. I looked over at the desk and saw President Abraham Lincoln looking back at us. He actually did that thing where he pulled his glasses down his nose so he could make sure he was seeing what he saw.

I said, “Good day, President Lincoln.” It’s always good to call a person by their name in a very weird situation. It gives them the false sense that everything is okay.

President Lincoln said, “I must say that I’ve just seen the oddest of occurrences. You both were not here, and then lo and behold, you were.” The great thing about the times when there were no tv, radio, movies or the internet is that people were entertained by the things that actually happened to them.

I said, “Mr. President. My dog Rexy are from the future. 2012 to be exact. I know that our entrance is different than most you have encountered. All I can say is, for some unknown reason, we spontaneously find ourselves ejected to various points in time.”

President Lincoln said, “From the future say ye? What can you then say is imminent for myself?”

I said, “What’s the date?”

President Lincoln said, “April 15th, 1865.”

My dog Rexy and I looked at each other with one of those, “Oh shit!” glances.

President Lincoln got up from his desk, came over to us, looked directly at Rexy and said, “Out with it, don’t spare details for fear of hurting my sensitive soul.”

Just then I again felt the crackle of time travel. The Oval Office started to fade. Rexy leaned forward and bit into Lincoln’s pant’s leg. The room disappeared.

Rexy and I and President Lincoln landed in Rexy’s bug bath in my backyard.

I said, “I can say for certain that you’ll be tick free!”

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