Last week I decided to dig a well in my backyard. I dug about fifteen feet in the ground and a thunderstorm hit and I stopped. It rained all weekend, filing the hole with water. Yesterday, a couple of ducks moved into this pond.

Today I went out to the semi-well and said to the ducks, “What’s up?”

One of the ducks said, “We really like it here, do you mind if stay permanently?”

I love animals. I actually have a DVD of cows walking around a field and eating grass. There’s no music or voice-over. I even have a DVD of mice living in a straw-filled boot. But I have a hard time when animals intentions go against something that’s important to me.

I said, “Well, I really want to build this well where you’re now floating.”

The other duck said, “Why do you want to build a well?”

I said, “Tap water’s not supposed to be good to drink, and I don’t like the plastic taste of spring water in a jug, so I figured I’d dig the well and enjoy the fresh taste of water from underground rivers.”

The other other duck told me about a movie she saw recently called Gasland where underground natural gas excavation has polluted the water that I wanted to draw from. She said there was a great scene where people put a match to the water coming from their well and the water caught fire.

The duck reminded me of a dog I once had named Juniper who was small enough that I could hide her in my coat and take her to movies. She really loved Mel Gibson movies.

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