In the morning I noticed icebox needed to be defrosted. It was filled with a solid block of ice. I got out my hair dryer and tried melting it with a half hour of hot air, but to no effect. I got out my rubber mallet and chisel from the tool box. I tried chipping away but I could make no dent. I left the fridge unplugged all day. I checked the freezer again at night but it was still full glacier.

So I did what I do with all things I get frustrated with, I had a talk with the ice block.

I said, “So, what’s going on?”

The ice block said, “What do you mean?”

I said, “You know what I mean. I’m trying to melt you so I can put frozen food in the freezer, but you continue to remain.”

The ice block said, “Oh, that. Well, I’m happy as I am.”

I said, “That may be fine for you, but it interferes with my lifestyle and peace of mind.”

The ice block said, “That sounds like your problem, not mine.”

I said, “What is it you want?”

The ice block said, “I want things to stay as they are.”

I said, “What if I found you a place to live that allowed you to be as you are, but just not in my freezer?”

The ice block thought about it. The ice block said, “That would be okay with me.”

I went to the UPS store by my house. I bought a special shipping box that allows a frozen item to stay frozen in transit. I showed and explained the box to the ice block. The ice block loosened and fell into the box. I had the box shipped to a friend who works at the Amundsen-Scott South Pole Research Station.

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