My pet mouse, Houser, died yesterday. I was distraught.

My friends held a funeral for Houser to help me come to terms with my grief. There was a eulogy. It was given by my cat, Tempster.

Tempter said, “It was hard for me not to eat Houser. She meant a lot to Brooks. If I followed my nature and eaten the mouse, I would have added grief to Brooks’ life. So I relented, difficult as it was. Houser ended up dying of natural causes. I was surprised to find myself in tears. I was confounded. I looked deep into myself. My constant epicurial passions for mice kept me from noticing Houser’s beautiful whiskers, her sweet shiny wriggling nose, her gorgeous gray coat of fur, and her incredible burrowing nature. She will be missed.”

Houser RIP
5/2006 – 8/29/2009

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