B-Day List

My birthday is coming up. It’s March 21st. My girlfriend asked me to put together a gift wish list. I did. Here it is:

1. A de–quilled porcupine.

2. A phone that doesn’t take or make calls. But it’s licorice so it’s delicious!

3. A trip in the Time Machine back to March 19th, 1961 so I can tell people I’m coming out in two days and can they keep it down because I need my rest.