I live with ants!

🐜 I live in an underground ant colony.

I like it because it feels good to be part of a community.

I’m not an ant. But the ants don’t seem to mind.

🥮 Actually, they’ve told me they like how I can go out into the world, purchase an angel food cake, and place it just outside the ant hill for my fellow co-habitaters to disassemble and bring down into the tunnels.

I’m often asked how I’m able to squeeze into the entrance of the anthill? I don’t, but instead, I dug a human-sized hole right next to my friendly roommates subterranean passageways.

👋 I lay down in the hole and wave back at the ants as they go about their day.

What I do in the morning

When I wake up in the morning, I go right back to sleep. I don’t think it’s important to jump right into doing things.

I’ll wake up and go back to sleep maybe eighteen or so times. It’s hard to tell the exact number because sleeping has a way of making me forget things.

Anyway, eventually I get out of bed. And then I stand for a while. It’s important to get the blood down to my feet before I ask them to do some walking for me. I’ll stand for about ten or eleven minutes.

And then I’ll walk outside. I want to make sure the sun is actually in the sky. Sometimes I’ve woken up thinking it was daytime, but that’s only because I forgot to turn out the lights when I went to sleep.

Lunch?

I was out for a walk when I came upon a lion.

The lion said, “You ought to know I’m considering eating you.”

I said, ” I get it. I’m delicious.”

The lion said, “I thought so.”

I said, “But I’m not good raw. I’m ideal after baking at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Also make sure to coat me with avacado oil and sprinkle some thyme.”

The lion said, “Oh.”

I said, “What?”

The lion said, “I don’t have an oven, or any of those ingredients.”

I said, “That’s too bad. If you’d like you can come on over to my place and use my oven and ingredients.”

The lion sighed and said, “Really, are you sure it’s not a problem?”

I said, “Not at all. Let’s go.”

The lion and I walked to my house. I set the oven to pre-heat and got out a really big baking pan and began to douse myself with avocado oil.

The lion said, “My stomach’s grumbling. Do you have any snacks?”

I got out saltine crackers and put them on a plate and gave it the lion. The lion ate the crackers as I sprinkled thyme on my head.

The lion said, “You don’t have to do that anymore. The crackers did the trick.”

I said, “If you say so. Would you like to watch a movie?”

The lion said, “That would be nice.”

I said, “Have you seen Midnight Run?”

👍🏼 The lion said, “No, but I heard it’s good.”

Giving it a try

It was night and my friend Lightening and I were sitting on the sand by the shore. The area where we sat was lit up like it was daytime from my friends glow. I said I envied my friend. He asked why. I said because I wish I were as bright. Lightening touched my nose. I felt heat swiftly pass through my body. Suddenly I was all aglow.

A Dark cloud formed above us. I lifted up in an instant through the air and into the cloud. I hung in the mist, my body trembling. I shot downward with the sound of an explosion.

I struck the rooftop of a life guard station, splitting it in two and setting it on fire. I walked away, my body no longer glowing. I sat next to Lightening. He asked if I liked it. I said I felt dizzy and had a headache.

I woke up in a cave

I woke up in a cave. I forgot how I got there. I stood up and went outside. I looked around. I was in the middle of the woods. I didn’t know which direction to head and started walking.

After a few minutes it started to rain. I wasn’t wearing a raincoat and didn’t have an umbrella. I was soon soaked and I shivered. I looked for a tree that would block the rain. They all had some rain dripping through the branches and leaves.

One of the trees had a hollow at its base. I ran in and sat down next to a porcupine and mongoose. The warmth from their bodies was strong and soon I stopped shaking.

It rained for a while. None of us said anything.

The rain water began to collect around our feet. I began to shiver again and went back out.

I walked for a few miles while I hugged myself for warmth but it wasn’t helping.

I came to a house and knocked. A bear answered. I tried to talk through my shivering, but the bear couldn’t understand me. The bear invited me in and sat me down by the fire. I warmed up and stopped shivering.

I shared with the bear about how my day had started in the cave. The bear asked where the cave was located. I told him generally where it was. The bear said it might have been the cave where he had once lived. The bear said he moved out 13 years ago. He’d been living in the house ever since.