3 for the price of 1

3 for the price of 1

I like to say the word, “The.” Sometimes I’ll make up sentences when I’m by myself of just, “The.” “The the the the the the the. The the the the, the the the. (The.)” I have an ambition to write a book, only using, “The.” I haven’t done it because I think it would be hard to find a publisher. The thing is, I’d love that book and would read it often. It may happen.


Last night I woke up with a desire to go outside. I got out of bed and put on my bathrobe. I went outside. It was dark. The sky was cloudy and I couldn’t see the moon or stars. I got sleepy. I lay down on the grass. I turned on my side. I fell asleep.

When I woke up I was nestled between a sleeping cow and horse who were also laying on the grass. The air was cold, but their bodies warm. When they breathed in, their bodies expanded against mine.


I went to the Ocean. I stood on the outskirts, looking out at the vast expanse of water. The Ocean said, “Are you coming in or not?” I said I didn’t bring a bathing suit. The Ocean said, “Strip down and come on in. I don’t mind.” I looked around. There were some people way down the beach. I figured I could get naked and they wouldn’t see me. I took off my clothes and walked in to the Ocean.

The Ocean said, “I’m so glad you’ve joined me.” I said I was too. I walked until my toes couldn’t touch the bottom. I tread water. The Ocean said, “Lay on your back. I’ll float you.” I lay on my back and it was like I was laying on an air mattress on the water. I didn’t have to do anything to stay afloat.

The Ocean said, “Would you hum me a song?” I said I would. I made up a song. I like humming because I don’t have to come up with words. The Ocean said, “I like your song.” I said thanks.

I looked back towards the beach, but I couldn’t see it anymore. I’d drifted a ways away. I panicked and stopped floating. I went back to treading water and I got a cramp. I had difficulty staying above the water. The Ocean said, “Lay on your back again, and I’ll float you.” I said I was scared because I was far from the shore. The Ocean said, “If you lay back, I’ll carrying you back to the shore.” I had to trust the Ocean because otherwise I probably would have drowned.

I lay on my back again and the Ocean supported me. I caught my breath and relaxed. I was moving towards what I hoped was the shore. The Ocean said, “Would you sing me a song with words this time?” I said I would try.

I sang a song about a duck named Seymour. Seymour was scared of water. He stayed on the ground rather then venture into the lake. One day it rained so much that the ground flooded. Seymour had no choice but to be in water. He was scared. But then the fear passed.

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