I went to bed very excited. The next day was the Anaheim Cake Convention. I’d bought an all-day all-you-can-eat pass. I was going to get to the convention hall before 7am when they opened up.

I woke up early the next morning literally split in two. Two halves. Right down the middle. I had no idea how it happened. I tried to push myself back together but it didn’t work. I tried to get out of bed but both halves of me fell on the floor. I saw the value of having two legs in order to balance and support myself.

I was frustrated because I had an hour-and-a-half to get to the big event and things weren’t looking good.

Both halves of me managed to drag to the closet. One half propped up the other half high enough to reach and pull down a belt from a hanger. It took some haranguing but I managed to loop the belt tightly around both halves of myself. It took a struggle, but I was able to stand. Walking was difficult. I was terribly uncoordinated and weaved and fell five or six times.

Finally I figured out the proper walking rhythm. I grabbed my wallet and ticket and left my apartment and took the elevator downstairs. I walked out to the street and hailed a cab. I was so thrilled that I’d made it to the convention center by 6:45 and I was first in line!

At 7 the doors opened. The ticket taker told me that I couldn’t be allowed in with one ticket. I would need a second ticket since there were two of me. I explained what had happened. He called his supervisor. She said that she was sorry for my situation, but I would need to purchase a second ticket. I was upset but purchased the extra ticket and I was allowed in.

There were hundreds of booths featuring many varieties of cake. There was birthday cake, pound cake, fruit cake, carrot cake, angel food cake, marble cake, coconut cake, Bundt cake, coffee cake, ice cream cake, Swiss roll, upside down pineapple cake, banana cake, wedding cake, sponge cake, rum cake, devil’s food cake, Yule log, just to name a few.

I went to a booth, showed the person my all-you-can eat pass and asked for a slice of German-chocolate cake. The put a slice on a plate with a fork and handed it to me. I gobbled down the cake. It was delicious.

Because of my being split in two pieces, my stomach was in two halves, and the cake popped out of my open stomachs and plopped on the ground. I was embarrassed for a moment. But then glad because this meant I couldn’t get full. At last year’s convention, I could only each 19 slices of cake.

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