I got into my car and turned on the ignition. The car said, “Where we going?” I said, “To the ice cream shop.” The car said, “But that’s 18 miles away?” I said, “Is that a problem?” The car said, “It’s kind of far.” I said, “It’s where I want to go.” The car said, “Alright, I guess.” I said, “Thanks.” The car, “Yeah, okay, whatever.”

I drove the car to the ice cream shop. I got out. I tried to push the door open to the ice cream shop. but it wouldn’t budge. I tried again, but no luck. I looked through the window. I saw the ice cream shop employees standing behind the counter. One of them motioned for me to push harder. I tried but nothing doing.

I said to the door, “What’s the holdup?” The door said, “I don’t feel like opening.” I said, “But I want to go in.” The door said, “That’s your problem, not mine.” I said, “Please.” The door sighed and said, “Okay, mister high and mighty.” I pushed again and the door opened. I said, “Thanks.” The door said something I’d feel uncomfortable typing.

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