Lunch with Shiva

I had lunch with Shiva, the all powerful Hindu god of destruction.

Shiva said, “Could I have some of your fries?”

I said, “No.”

Shiva said, “Come on, don’t be a jerk. Let me have some.”

I said, “You always do this. You don’t order fries and then you try and eat mine.”

Shiva said, “Because I know you’ll order them, dummy.”

I said, “You’re being an asshole.”

Shiva said, “That’s who I am baby. Get used to it!”

I paused. I said, “What’s wrong?”

Shiva said, “I don’t know what you mean?”

I didn’t say anything.

Shiva’s upper lip started to quiver.

Shiva broke down crying.

Through sobs, Shiva said, “Pookie’s gone!”

I said, “Who?”

Shiva said, “My teddy. I looked under the sheets, under the bed. Where could he have gone?!! Will you come over and help me find him?”

I said, “Sure.”

We got up. I put money for both our meals on the table.

Shiva grabbed a handful of my fries and stuffed them in his mouth.