My house woke me up at 2 am last night by clearing its throat. My house said, “I have a deep desire to be a skyscraper, but I’ve already been designed and built as a house. This makes me sad. If I could only learn to be happy as I am.”
I said, “I think you would have been a shitty skyscraper. You have a fear of heights.”

My house said, “You know me so well. I’m glad you live in me.”

I made a mental note to call the realtor in the morning.

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