I lost all my money, my car, and apartment.

So I went walking. Sidewalks are free and I had plenty of time.

I walked from Chicago to Philadelphia. I was excited. I’d never seen the liberty bell.

I walked till I found the liberty bell. It was a pretty big bell.

The liberty bell bell said, “Why so down and out?”

I said, “I haven’t showered for ten days. I’ve been sleeping under trees. I’ve been eating grass from the side of the road. Actually, I think the salad diet has been good for me.”

The liberty bell said, “Life moves in extremes. Pretty soon you’ll be living in a penthouse in a golden tower, eating food cooked by top chefs, and sleeping in a king-sized bed with satin sheets.”

I hugged the liberty bell.

The crack in the liberty bell split the rest of the way through the bell. The liberty bell cracked in two, both halves loudly hitting the ground.

I said, “I’m sorry.”

The liberty bell said, “It’s like I said.”

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