Granted

I went to Grant’s tomb. I knocked. The door opened. The ghost of President U.S. Grant answered. I asked if he had a few minutes to spare. Grant said he did and invited me in. We sat down at a small table and chairs set up next to his coffin.

I said, “It seems like most ghosts like to travel around. How come you remain in your tomb?”

Grant said, “I traveled so often when I was alive that I appreciate this rest.”

I said, “As a general, do you think war is unavoidable?”

Grant said, “War is part of life. People don’t always get along. Sometimes it’s a squabble between a couple. Sometimes it’s a bigger one between two countries.”

I said, “If you were alive now, what would you do?”

Grant said, “I’d be a pastry chef. I love pastries. The thing is, they only taste exceptional when they are right out of the oven. If you are a consumer, that’s hard to come by. If you’re a chef, you’re the first in line.”