Let the Sunshine In

There was a knock at my door. I answered and it was a squirrel.

I said, “Yes?”

The squirrel said, “It’s dreadfully cold out and I forgot to grow my winter hair and I was wondering if I can come in to warm up?”

The thing is, I like squirrels. But I’m apprehensive because whenever I come near them they run up a tree. “Why are you running away from me? I just want to pet you.” It’s hard on my self-esteem. I wish it didn’t effect me so. But maybe this was the opportunity of a better world.

I said, “Sure, okay.”

The squirrel came in and immediately began to tear up my carpet, sofa and drapes.

I said, “What are you doing?!”

The squirrel said, “What the hell does it look like? I’m making a nest!”

I kicked the squirrel out. It’s like my grandpa Duke used to say, “Clouds are always screwing things up, but eventually you see the light.”