Hanging Out With History

This morning I was awoken by sounds in my kitchen. I went downstairs and came upon the ghost of President Rutherford B. Hayes washing my dishes. Ghosts like to do helpful chores. It’s part of their, “Let’s Not Scare Them Campaign.”

I recognized President Hayes by his long beard. I was kind of dumb kid in school and I could only memorize shapes and colors. I once got an A+ on my Biology class Name The Fruit test.

I said hello to President Hayes. We got to talking and I said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t know anything about what you did as President of the United States.”

President Hayes said, “There wasn’t much to remember. The President had very little power back then. I do remember declaring Thursday as chocolate pudding day at the White House.”

Then he showed me a photo of he, pre-beard, and his wife Lucy. I scanned it so I could show it to you.

President Rutherford met Lucy at a Porcupine Rescue Shelter. Back in the mid 1800s dogs had yet to be invented. The most popular pets were porcupines.

I asked if porcupines made for difficult pets because of their sharp flying quills. President Hayes said, “Everything is inherent with calamity.”

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