Oh, Well

I went to the wishing well.

The wishing well said, “Yeah, what is it?”

I said, “I’d like my money back.”

The wishing well said, “For what?”

I said, “For the wishes that didn’t come to fruition.”

The wishing well said, “Which ones didn’t you get?”

I opened a large, heavy, and frayed book. I started at the first page and said, “When I was nine I wished for our team to win the little league championships, and we got clobbered 79 to 0. And then when I was ten I wanted to pass my math test, and I failed and was sent back to the third grade. Later that year I wanted a -“

The wishing well said, “Wait a minute. I never promised you these wishes would come true. The name says “wishing well’, not ‘wishes granted.'”

I said, “But it’s implied. The name is wishing well.”

The wishing well got quiet. Then it said in a quiet tone, “Look, I don’t have it. I’ve already spent the money.”

I walked away. I felt like an idiot. Why did I place so much importance on particular desired outcomes? If I could only learn to accept what comes my way then maybe I could be truly happy.

I passed by a 7-11. I went in and compulsively bought a lottery ticket. I was practically foaming at the mouth. I went home and put the lottery ticket on my alter to Shiva-Christ. I blended the two deities for maximum effect. I prostrated myself before the alter and said, “Please let me win!”

Shiva-Christ said, “Really? Are you kidding me?”

I got up and lit a cigarette. I sat at my couch and looked out the window. I saw the sun ebbing. I exhaled deeply. I put out the cigarette. I looked back at Shiva-Christ. I was glad for the company.

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