I was restless and couldn’t sleep. I got up out of bed. I put on my robe. I came downstairs and sat in my living room. The night’s moon light cascaded on me. I felt warm. I started to relax. I laughed. I couldn’t believe how things had agitated me so. How did it all begin? Oh, yes. I remember now.

Yesterday morning my cat, Jolene, jumped up on my bed and woke me. I got out of bed and went downstairs. I opened a can of Purina liver and sausage and emptied it into her bowl. She wolfed it down.

I felt a tickling in my nose and panicked. I’m horribly allergic to cats and I always take a Claritin 24 hour tablet before going to sleep. But last night I was a little drunk from the bottle of wine I drank at my birthday party, and I forgot. My sinuses were on fire. I started to sneeze and couldn’t stop. Jolene is very sensitive. She got scared and panicked and ran out the back door and across the back yard and then over the fence.

Jake, my neighbor’s dog, hates Jolene. He barked fiercely. Jolene jumped back over the fence. Jake followed. They ran into my house. Jolene ran behind the television and Jake followed. Jolene went out the other side, but Jake got tangled up in the wires. He panicked and his nails must have torn the wires. They sparked and he caught fire. He escaped and ran through my house in flames, setting my house on fire.

The fire department put out the fire. Most of my house was destroyed. I tried sleeping on a piece of the bed that didn’t burn. I was angry. I came downstairs and felt the moonlight and was okay again.

But then Jolene ran in front of me followed by a scalded Jake. I went nuts. I got out matches and burnt down the rest of the house. I got in the car and ran over Jake. I shaved my cat bald. I ate the rest of the Claritin. And then I felt better.

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